Hope

Proving, once again, that I am not quite as sane as I pretend to be.

There was nothing I could do. I stood by and watched as my life burned, smoke flying up into the sky for all the world to see. I stood and watched as my heart broke into pieces, jagged, sharp shapes, filling my world with torment. And when it couldn’t go on any longer I emerged, broken. I had made my decision, and there was no going back. The suffering would be compensation. Painful, looming compensation. But it was too late, he had lured me in. I couldn’t escape. It simply wasn’t an option. And once again, I wished, above all, that everything was simple. The blackmail, the secrets, all of the lies. I wished it’d never started, and I wished it had already ended. So many wishes, none of them could ever be granted. So many, too many… Yet not enough. Not enough to spark a hope in my shard of a soul, to fill my small, enveloping world with a dream. There was no hope.

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