Monthly Archives: May 2009

Buried

Don’t ask me what it means, I have no idea.

My feelings are hidden,
My joy buried deep,
It’s the thing I can’t show,
The adoration,
My devotion,
The endless passion,
Buried deep inside.

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Poem & Haiku

Just me, being random 😉

I wait for you,
Here on my own,
You’re all I’ve got,
But I’m alone,
Nothing more to say,
other than this,
I love you.

I wonder what you’re
thinking right now as you walk
to me, deep in thought.

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Secretary

Sequel to Milk & Shoes Off. I may continue this, I may not.

My shoes click gently against the pavement as I walk, walk away from him. It hurts too much to stay, though in my mind I know that I shouldn’t be letting myself feel the pain. The secretary had nodded at me as I left- she knew what a short visit meant, and after handing me my shoes, she’d slid behind her desk and tried to pass sympathy to me in the merest of glances. Efficiency was everything, with my father. There were to be no let downs. Except for his family.
I frowned. Where now? There wasn’t an awful lot I could do, places I could go. My usually focused brain was drifting, and I found myself thinking of Hannah. Hannah… the one interruption in my oasis of calm, the one thing that wasn’t as sane as everything about the rest of my being. I shook my head. She was wild, she was bright, she was free. She was disliked, and everything about her was opposite to me.
But she was my friend… and that had to count for something, right? I needed all the friends I could get, but maybe Hannah was the wrong friend.
My thoughts twisted and changed direction again… to my mother. I hadn’t seen her since I was three, when she’d pulled on her coat and walked out the door, with not so much as a goodbye. She had never contacted us, there was nothing. My only anchor into the realm of emotion was gone, just like that. I was left, a crying child, with nobody to hug me or to hold me. I had focused entirely on getting over that hurdle, and then moreso on forgetting that I had ever been behind that hurdle.
The secretary… the secretary had lifted the barrier into a dam of emotion and if I wasn’t careful, wasn’t fast enough, I would never be able to block them back up again, I’d never be able to hide it.

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Shoes Off

The sortof sequel to Milk. The main character is supposedly the same, though being as critical as I am, I can’t help but notice some differences. However, the next entry or whatever you choose to call it, links it all together.I scowled.
“I hope you know how much I despise this treatment.” I had said.. no, snarled.
“Oh, you’ve made it very clear.” She’d said, smiling slightly at my distress.
“I don’t see why we have to go through this.” I’d groaned.
“Shoes off.” She’d said, ignoring me. She scanned my shoes, before dropping them in the bag. “You may go through to see your father now.”
I pulled a face. “Is he any more pleased to see me than last time?”
A sympathetic smile had crossed her face, and she’d pulled me into a sudden, close, hug. “Your father loves you, you know.” She’d disappeared, and for the next ten minutes I had sat there, working up the courage to enter.
I stepped forwards. The shadows seemed to pull away from me as I knocked on the large wooden door to the office.
“Come in.” Said my father. I entered, noting his facial expression as he realised it was me. “How many times have I told you NOT to interrupt me when I’m working?” He stormed.
“Father, you agreed that I’d come here weeks ago. We had a deal.” I said.
“I have no recollection of this, and I’m busy. Out.” He said, impersonal as always.
I frowned. So much for love. There wouldn’t be a next time I suffered this humiliation. I would cut him out of my life, just as mother had done to me.

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Milk

Yep, still insane. This is crafted from my slightly odd imagination.

“It won’t happen again.” She burbled. I shook my head. I couldn’t be bothered with this again. “Leave me alone, Hannah. I don’t want to talk to you.” I told her. “I’m really, really sorry.” She said, tears forming in her eyes. “Did you hear what I said?” I asked her, forcefully. “Go.”
She turned away, walking slowly and looking back remorsefully. “How is it that she manages to alienate everyone?” I mused. I sat down, ignoring the growing pangs of hunger in my stomach, and wondered how long it would be before she came crawling back, after the newest of her enemies had finished with her. “Oh dear.” I thought, as I watched her approach the gate, and Jaxon stepped in her way. “Senior, aggressive. Not good with betrayal.” I thought to myself, adding the details to my internal personality compilation. Sometime in the future all this information I had so meticulously collected would be useful. It had to be. There was no other database quite the same as mine. I just had to find a use for all this. I reminded myself to put it all on the computer when I got home. What’s the use of a database if it’s not stored anywhere?
Two minutes. I thought to myself, as the ticking in my head resonated. I’d never needed a watch. Two minutes and once again, she’d come crawling back. I thought the milk in her hair was a particularly nice touch. But what to do with her now?

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Two Years Ago

A story based off pictures which I had to write for class. It’s fairly long, sorry. To give a bit of backround, the two pictures I used were like this: The first was a couple dancing on a beach with stormy clouds on the horizon, accompanied by maid and bodyguard. The second picture was four men on a beach, with a particularly moody feel to it. The character from the pictures, which I chose to represent were, in the first picture, the man, dancing, and in the second, the apparent leader of the four men on a beach. Hope this explains the story a bit more!

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Hope

Proving, once again, that I am not quite as sane as I pretend to be.

There was nothing I could do. I stood by and watched as my life burned, smoke flying up into the sky for all the world to see. I stood and watched as my heart broke into pieces, jagged, sharp shapes, filling my world with torment. And when it couldn’t go on any longer I emerged, broken. I had made my decision, and there was no going back. The suffering would be compensation. Painful, looming compensation. But it was too late, he had lured me in. I couldn’t escape. It simply wasn’t an option. And once again, I wished, above all, that everything was simple. The blackmail, the secrets, all of the lies. I wished it’d never started, and I wished it had already ended. So many wishes, none of them could ever be granted. So many, too many… Yet not enough. Not enough to spark a hope in my shard of a soul, to fill my small, enveloping world with a dream. There was no hope.

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